Conquering Imposter Syndrome: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Doubt
Feeling like a fraud despite your success? Discover how to identify, understand, and overcome these doubts.
Imagine achieving something amazing, only to feel deep down that you don't deserve it. You may be experiencing a phenomenon called Imposter Syndrome. Lightly put, imposter syndrome is doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud even though your performance is adequate and likely above average. Usually, people have a hard time taking it seriously because they just think you're insecure and want to be helpful, so they'll say lovely things like, “Don't make it harder than it is” or “You're supposed to fake it until you make it” or even, “You just need to trust yourself; stop worrying, you are fine.” While these seem like genuine responses, they may not have the intended effect.
More often than not, imposter syndrome has roots in trauma. It's a deeply rooted way of behaving that is meant to support you or help you navigate unsupportive environments. If your situation required you to emphasize productivity, efficiency, and good behavior more than your true, whole, authentic self, then you were raised on the breeding grounds of imposter syndrome. All you need to do is inhale the pressure to live up to someone else’s definition of success, and your chances of having it increase tenfold—especially if you are a firstborn, only child, grew up poor, identify with a minority group, or come from a single-parent or blended household. Three common triggers are suddenly having big shoes to fill, having to be out on your own, or having to compete for a seat at the table.
What kind of trauma am I talking about? There is the big kind, the kind that explodes on you like wars, earthquakes, or violence. But I’m talking about the kind of trauma that erodes your confidence and sense of safety over time, like bullying, breakups, rejection, or having to move around frequently. Trauma can also be as simple as having family and friends you had to support a lot as a kid. As PhD holder and instructor at the Psychology department at Harvard, Susan Davids, reports, “When it’s communicated that a person’s worth is tied to what they know—for instance, doing well at school and getting things right—the specter of not knowing can raise issues of identity threat and of being ‘found out.’ We often find impostor syndrome in people who are perfectionists or those who were raised to be extremely conscientious.”
Imposter syndrome isn’t just about insecurity remedied by confidence or affirmations. It’s more sinister. Many people struggle with the inevitable burnout from a high-performance, high-anxiety lifestyle. It's crucial to see yourself clearly and recognize that imposter syndrome is wired into your body.
Look for these signs:
Despite working twice as hard, you fear being only half as good.
Even if someone praises or reassures you, you deflect it to luck, someone's oversight, or divine intervention, or say, "It was nothing."
You may feel that overworking is the only way to meet expectations.
Imposter syndrome means you never get to relax because guilt and pressure drive you to overthink, overplan, and spread yourself thin. You hope it will all be worth it, only to hit the brick wall of burnout.
Tips to Overcome Self-Doubt
Here are some tips to help you overcome this self-doubt:
Recognize Negative Feelings: Awareness is key, so make sure you track your negative self-talk: what they are and when they emerge.
Accept Positive Feedback: The next time someone compliments you, try not to deny or downplay the comment. Instead, thank them. Consider any truth to the positive comment and try to internalize the feedback.
Embrace Positive Self-Talk: If you find yourself lapsing into old ways of thinking, try to think positively. For example, instead of thinking, “Even though I studied for this test, I’ll probably still fail,” try, “I worked hard, and chances are good that I will do well.” Know that even if you don’t finish the test, such “failures” are learning opportunities—not signs that you are a fraud or that you aren’t enough.
Open Up: Secrecy and shame are key features that make imposter syndrome so hurtful. Expressing your self-doubt to trusted people in your life can be the first step away from feeling like a fraud. You might find that you’re not alone.
Seeking Support
Family, friends, and role models contribute to a positive self-image and challenge feelings of self-doubt in anyone, but they’re especially important in countering an imposter complex. Mentors can provide support, share their own experiences of self-doubt, and help teens to see these feelings as shared, conquerable struggles. A circle of other teens with shared identity-related concerns might emerge as a vital source of support and self-acceptance. Seeing how others think about themselves can help you identify your unfounded beliefs about yourself. Hearing honest, positive feedback about you can help you believe in your abilities (McLean Hospital, 2023).
Combating imposter syndrome involves activating self-awareness, receiving support, and applying practical strategies. Recognize its sources and then utilize the tools described in this piece. As a high-achieving teenager, your accomplishments result from hard work and determination, and you have the right to feel good about your success.
It’s important to remember, regardless of whether you fit all the symptoms or not, if you are struggling, it is okay to ask for help. Reaching out earlier rather than later can help prevent the worsening of symptoms and allow you to lead a fulfilling life!
- Nysha
Sources:
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/a-psychologist-explains-how-to-deal-with-imposter-syndrome
https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/impostor-syndrome
https://hbr.org/2008/05/overcoming-impostor-syndrome